I just finished the post on making decisions during the first year. There are so many things that happen for the first time during that year. I am not completely through it, myself, still having the holiday season approaching.
I expected certain days to be challenging - my birthday, the children's birthday, Father's Day. All of the major holidays of course, our anniversary, his birthday. Any other dates that have special meaning in your lives... maybe the day of your first date for example. There will be more on these specifically in a later post.
The things I did not expect, were to feel sad at the change of seasons - the first cherry blossoms on our tree out front, the last day of school, the leaves changing in the fall and the first snow fall. My husband was a big football fan, especially the Gators. One of the last things he did was watch a Gator game. They won that game! I have not been able to watch or follow football this year. Each of these, mark the passage of time. Each remind you that your spouse is not there to see it.
I want the tone of this blog to remain positive and helpful, but I feel it must also be honest. My intention in sharing this is to have you be prepared if this happens in your life. It may not.
Someone, a few months ahead of where I am, recently shared her experience. I hope that she will post it in the comments section as she shared it so eloquently. Paraphrasing what she said.... When one has a loss in their lives, there is a hole in your life where your loved one used to be. Over time, once in a while, gratitude and joy start to fill that space where the pain resides. It comes from the fact that this person was a part of your life. I can see this with my husband. We accomplished a lot together, we have 2 beautiful children and although we had our ups and downs like any relationship, we had a good life together. For all of this I am grateful.
One day at a time!
Penelope
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