Basics/Early On

Here are some basic suggestions for the very beginning, but are useful throughout the grieving process.....  In everything I write, these are suggestions.  Always do what you think is best for you and your family EVEN if it is different than what I am suggesting. 

1 - Sleep ANY time you feel like you can EVEN if it is at odd times.

2 - Eat as often as you can remember to.  If someone offers to bring food - - let them!

3 - Take things one day at a time..... don't get too far ahead. Some things will fall into place as time goes by like if one needs to change where to live or their work situation.

4 - With that in mind, try not to make any major decisions in the first several months.. or even a year if possible. 

5 - Choose one or two important thing(s) a day to get done... most of the rest can wait.

6 - With regard to children - ANYTHING is normal right now and kids grieve differently than adults. My kids desperately just wanted things to be "normal." There will be more about this over time.

7 - When people offer help either accept it - or if it doesn't seem helpful at the moment, I would say, "Thank you, but I don't really know what I need right now. Would it be ok if I gave you a call when I figure that out?" That keeps the door open to ask them for something later if need be.

One day at a time,
Penelope

First Year/Decisions

It is almost cliche to say don't make any big decisions during the first year.  Sometimes this may not be possible.  You may have to take a job or may have to move for financial or other reasons.  If this is the case, do what you need to do.  

If a decision does not have to be made right away, then my suggestion would be to postpone making it until you feel capable of doing so with a clear thought process.  In many cases this make take a year or even longer.  At the time of this writing, I am only 9 months into this myself, so I cannot really answer that adequately right now.  It seemed by 9 months things would get better and easier... the same length of time to grow a baby, right?  There will be more on this in a later post.

I was recently faced with a rather large decision.  As always, I can only share my experience.. .and hope that others will also in the comments. I found myself changing my mind from the morning to the evening and doing the same thing the next day.  Fortunately, I do not have to make this decision today.  This drove home the point to me, of why people tell you to wait.  

One day at a time!
Penelope